All That I Am - Supernatural - R
Sep. 4th, 2006 07:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teffyAll That I Am
R
Supernatural gen fic (spoilers through season 1)
Dean would tell anyone who'd listen that there was a baby on the way.
This one's for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kashmir1 as well. There's just not enough John/Mary fic out there.
Across the breakfast table John and Dean were slurping from their cereal bowls, laughing, and only succeeding in getting milk splashed down their chins.
Mary smiled and got up to put another pot of coffee on.
The moment she stood, she felt dizzy and a slight tingling sensation ran along the back of her neck.
She was three months pregnant.
She put a hand to her belly, hoped the morning sickness hadn't started already, and turned around to tell her boys.
*****
Dean would tell anyone who'd listen that there was a baby on the way.
She's sure the clerk at the grocery store check out counter is tired of hearing about it, but Dean's practically beaming every time he says "There's a baby inside Mom's tummy and I'm going to be a big brother."
*****
Her monthly Doctor's visit went smoothly.
John had wanted to be there, but he had been too busy at the shop to make it.
When she goes back to the exam room, Dean stays in the lobby with one of the nurses, no doubt being as shamelessly charming as only a 4 year old can be.
Mary asks the doctor to record the heartbeat and the three of them listen to it that night after dinner.
There are tears in John's eyes but she pretends not to notice so he won't be embarrassed.
*****
She was perfectly content to sit out on the porch in the enormous rocking chair John's father had built and watch Dean play with his army men in the front yard while she smoothed a hand down her belly and murmured nonsense to Sam.
"Don't ask me how I know he's a 'Sam.'" She told John with an impatient tilt of her head. "I just do."
*****
She can't get enough of John.
God, she wants him all the time, especially when he comes home for his lunch break smelling of dirt and grease and sweat.
It's the middle of the day, Dean's still at preschool, and she closes the shades as soon as she hears the Impala pull in the driveway.
John's barely inside before she's tugging at his belt buckle. His laugh his low and rumbling and it makes her throb between her thighs.
"Forgot you get like this, baby." His smile is all kinds of naughty as she pushes him down onto the couch. "Watcha want?"
Her rounded belly presses against his as she lifts her skirt and sinks down onto him with a sigh. "You. Just you, John."
*****
The closer she gets to her due date, the more frequent her dreams become.
Strange dreams. She sees Dean running from the house, a bundle clutched in his arms. A flicker of light. All she can feel his heat.
She can't close her eyes without being caught up in one and usually wakes up when Sam starts kicking.
*****
It wasn't a major event when Sam was finally born.
No room full of baskets and flowers and balloons. No extravagant baby shower. Nothing excessive like there'd been with Dean.
"He's your second child." Her mother had warned her when they'd found out she was pregnant. "Don't expect a lot of fanfare."
Mary was grateful, for that, though she wouldn't have said anything. She was perfectly content to recuperate in the peace of her hospital room, watching John teach Dean how to hold the baby with gentle hands.
*****
"Mom?"
"Yes, Dean."
"When's Sammy gonna start walkin' and talkin'?"
"When he gets bigger."
"Oh. I 'member he's not gonna stay little forever 'cause Miss Katie told me that babies get big and turn into grown ups."
"That's right."
"...Sammy'll be a grown up. What about me?"
"You'll be all grown up too, sweetie."
"Will he still need me to be his big brother even if he's growed up?"
"Definitely. He'll always need you. No matter how big you two get."
*****
He'll be tall. Taller than his dad if he keeps growing the way he has. Such a big boy for only 6 months. That's what everyone had said.
Mary shuffles down the hall to get Dean so he can say goodnight. Sam's starting to sleep longer, almost through the night, and they've all learned to thrive on routine.
Dean's jumping on his bed and she hesitates in the doorway of his room just so she can watch the smile on his face and she remembers the way he looked earlier that day. Clinging to John's leg, looking up at him and watching the way his dad held Sam. Both of them in awe.
Her heart aches cause she loves all her boys so much.
*****
She sees them, and loves them, and looks into their eyes.
She tells her baby boy she's sorry.
It's enough.
R
Supernatural gen fic (spoilers through season 1)
Dean would tell anyone who'd listen that there was a baby on the way.
This one's for
kashmir1 as well. There's just not enough John/Mary fic out there.Across the breakfast table John and Dean were slurping from their cereal bowls, laughing, and only succeeding in getting milk splashed down their chins.
Mary smiled and got up to put another pot of coffee on.
The moment she stood, she felt dizzy and a slight tingling sensation ran along the back of her neck.
She was three months pregnant.
She put a hand to her belly, hoped the morning sickness hadn't started already, and turned around to tell her boys.
*****
Dean would tell anyone who'd listen that there was a baby on the way.
She's sure the clerk at the grocery store check out counter is tired of hearing about it, but Dean's practically beaming every time he says "There's a baby inside Mom's tummy and I'm going to be a big brother."
*****
Her monthly Doctor's visit went smoothly.
John had wanted to be there, but he had been too busy at the shop to make it.
When she goes back to the exam room, Dean stays in the lobby with one of the nurses, no doubt being as shamelessly charming as only a 4 year old can be.
Mary asks the doctor to record the heartbeat and the three of them listen to it that night after dinner.
There are tears in John's eyes but she pretends not to notice so he won't be embarrassed.
*****
She was perfectly content to sit out on the porch in the enormous rocking chair John's father had built and watch Dean play with his army men in the front yard while she smoothed a hand down her belly and murmured nonsense to Sam.
"Don't ask me how I know he's a 'Sam.'" She told John with an impatient tilt of her head. "I just do."
*****
She can't get enough of John.
God, she wants him all the time, especially when he comes home for his lunch break smelling of dirt and grease and sweat.
It's the middle of the day, Dean's still at preschool, and she closes the shades as soon as she hears the Impala pull in the driveway.
John's barely inside before she's tugging at his belt buckle. His laugh his low and rumbling and it makes her throb between her thighs.
"Forgot you get like this, baby." His smile is all kinds of naughty as she pushes him down onto the couch. "Watcha want?"
Her rounded belly presses against his as she lifts her skirt and sinks down onto him with a sigh. "You. Just you, John."
*****
The closer she gets to her due date, the more frequent her dreams become.
Strange dreams. She sees Dean running from the house, a bundle clutched in his arms. A flicker of light. All she can feel his heat.
She can't close her eyes without being caught up in one and usually wakes up when Sam starts kicking.
*****
It wasn't a major event when Sam was finally born.
No room full of baskets and flowers and balloons. No extravagant baby shower. Nothing excessive like there'd been with Dean.
"He's your second child." Her mother had warned her when they'd found out she was pregnant. "Don't expect a lot of fanfare."
Mary was grateful, for that, though she wouldn't have said anything. She was perfectly content to recuperate in the peace of her hospital room, watching John teach Dean how to hold the baby with gentle hands.
*****
"Mom?"
"Yes, Dean."
"When's Sammy gonna start walkin' and talkin'?"
"When he gets bigger."
"Oh. I 'member he's not gonna stay little forever 'cause Miss Katie told me that babies get big and turn into grown ups."
"That's right."
"...Sammy'll be a grown up. What about me?"
"You'll be all grown up too, sweetie."
"Will he still need me to be his big brother even if he's growed up?"
"Definitely. He'll always need you. No matter how big you two get."
*****
He'll be tall. Taller than his dad if he keeps growing the way he has. Such a big boy for only 6 months. That's what everyone had said.
Mary shuffles down the hall to get Dean so he can say goodnight. Sam's starting to sleep longer, almost through the night, and they've all learned to thrive on routine.
Dean's jumping on his bed and she hesitates in the doorway of his room just so she can watch the smile on his face and she remembers the way he looked earlier that day. Clinging to John's leg, looking up at him and watching the way his dad held Sam. Both of them in awe.
Her heart aches cause she loves all her boys so much.
*****
She sees them, and loves them, and looks into their eyes.
She tells her baby boy she's sorry.
It's enough.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 12:51 am (UTC)Oh. I just. THERE ARE NO WORDS.
This is for ME? ME?
♥ x 10000
And the exchange about Sam needing Dean when's he older and then ending? RIPPED MY HEART OUT.
OH GOD.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:16 am (UTC)And you know Dean was soooo into the big brother thing. Like, some little kids that have a younger sibling are like "Meh...yeah I have a brother. He cries a lot." and then some kids are totally into it like "I'M A BIG BROTHER!! DON"T MESS WITH ME!" Yeah, that was so Dean.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 02:13 am (UTC)*nods*
Oh totally. Think he still is. ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 03:20 am (UTC)He totally is still all "Don't mess with my little brother!". Yup. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 03:33 am (UTC)Um. Wedding night schmoopy smut!
Attack of the plot bunnies!
Date: 2006-09-10 03:50 am (UTC)Re: Attack of the plot bunnies!
Date: 2006-09-10 04:59 am (UTC)YES!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 01:22 am (UTC)Oh, so sad.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 12:30 am (UTC)This was so beautiful. It was sexy in parts, poignant in others and totally in character.
There are tears in John's eyes but she pretends not to notice so he won't be embarrassed.
You wrote John and Mary so well. I wish we could see more of their relationship in the show. Hopefully there'll be some flashbacks in S2, and they're like this ^^
"Will he still need me to be his big brother even if he's growed up?"
"Definitely. He'll always need you. No matter how big you two get."
Wee!Dean is a delight, and these two lines ring so true. God I love our boys!
Thanks so much for writing this. It's very special ♥
no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 05:21 am (UTC)And I'm totally hoping for more flashbacks in S2 as well. *fingers crossed*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 12:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 04:31 am (UTC)Gorgeous.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-08 10:51 pm (UTC)*saves to memories*